Skinned Heart

Mexicana. Tejana. Feminista. Writer. Collage Maker. Warrior. Bruja. Punk. Dominatrix

Teaching Consent to Small Children

afrafemme:

A friend and I were out with our kids when another family’s two-year-old came up. She began hugging my friend’s 18-month-old, following her around and smiling at her. My friend’s little girl looked like she wasn’t so sure she liked this, and at that moment the other little girl’s mom came up and got down on her little girl’s level to talk to her.

“Honey, can you listen to me for a moment? I’m glad you’ve found a new friend, but you need to make sure to look at her face to see if she likes it when you hug her. And if she doesn’t like it, you need to give her space. Okay?”

Two years old, and already her mother was teaching her about consent.

My daughter Sally likes to color on herself with markers. I tell her it’s her body, so it’s her choice. Sometimes she writes her name, sometimes she draws flowers or patterns. The other day I heard her talking to her brother, a marker in her hand.

“Bobby, do you mind if I color on your leg?”

Bobby smiled and moved himself closer to his sister. She began drawing a pattern on his leg with a marker while he watched, fascinated. Later, she began coloring on the sole of his foot. After each stoke, he pulled his foot back, laughing. I looked over to see what was causing the commotion, and Sally turned to me.

“He doesn’t mind if I do this,” she explained, “he is only moving his foot because it tickles. He thinks its funny.” And she was right. Already Bobby had extended his foot to her again, smiling as he did so.

What I find really fascinating about these two anecdotes is that they both deal with the consent of children not yet old enough to communicate verbally. In both stories, the older child must read the consent of the younger child through nonverbal cues. And even then, consent is not this ambiguous thing that is difficult to understand.

Teaching consent is ongoing, but it starts when children are very young. It involves both teaching children to pay attention to and respect others’ consent (or lack thereof) and teaching children that they should expect their own bodies and their own space to be respected—even by their parents and other relatives.

And if children of two or four can be expected to read the nonverbal cues and expressions of children not yet old enough to talk in order to assess whether there is consent, what excuse do full grown adults have?

(via fuckdietsletsriot)

I am the sea and nobody owns me.

—Pippi Longstocking (1997)

(Source: dimmadamn, via xulaxicana)

Oh—you wouldn’t date a girl who’s ever been a stripper?
In that case, I wouldn’t date a guy who’s ever been to a strip club.

Oh—you wouldn’t date a girl who’s ever done porn?
In that case, I wouldn’t date a guy who’s ever watched porn.

You’re the reason we exist.
You’re the demand to our supply.
If you disdain sex workers, don’t you dare consume our labor.

As they say in the industry, “People jack off with the left hand and point with the right.”

Click here to help Suzi Bee get off the streets and into an independent living community

zafacon-chula:

toopunkforfriends:

PLEASE CIRCULATE WIDELY! I don’t know a lot of folks on tumblr & I am in desperate need of donations and support. Anything helps, $$$, thoughts, words, and reblogs!

TW: Abuse, Alcohol, 

My name is Suzi Bell, I’m 26 yrs old, passionate about music, art of any kind, and keeping things fun… I was born with Cerebral Palsy and have spent my life reliant on the help and care of my family and friends. I have a walker and a wheelchair (for longer distances or painful days) but my walker is my heart. Her name is Petunia, she’s lime green and zebra print, and without her I would crawl. My condition could definitely be worse, but it’s hard to walk any distance (especially on different terrains), carry things, climb steps, make food, blah blah blah.

I recently discovered that my mother has been lying to me and stole and coerced over $100,000 left to me by my dad and grandmother. This is on top of stealing my car a week after my house burned down, signing my disability benefits to herself, filing for ownership of my graphic design company, and if not physically hurting me, constantly telling me how no one could ever put up with helping me and I’ll never succeed in life. I disagree, but it’s hard to stay positive while only hearing how worthless you are, and having every financial gain I could use to begin a new and self sufficient life taken from me one way or another.

To top it all off my current living situation took a drastic turn for the worse and I will be homeless in 6 days due to an alcoholic housemate who after convincing me to move in, has finally admitted that we are being evicted due to him being VERY behind on rent. 

After finding this out I started searching for other living situations and in the process I found out about an apartment complex for folks living with disabilities. I scored an interview and was accepted (!!!) But without a steady income to handle this situation so suddenly.. I might miss the opportunity if I cannot come up with funds to move by next week.

I set up a gofundme as a last ditch attempt to pull myself out of this situation collapsing around me. I know that I am capable of being completely independent. I have finally reached the point where I am asking for help. Please donate if you can. Any help is infinitely appreciated whether it be $$$, a reblog, or just a word of support. I know I’m not alone in this world.. I know I can make it.. I just hope I can prove it.

SIGNAL BOOST: I grew up with this person. Theyre super rad and I’m shocked that all this has been happening to them. Please help if you can.

(via internationalthot)